Spring is almost here. You can feel it in the warm weather that hints at the heat to come. You can see it in the sudden burst of new leaves on the poplar and cottonwood trees. But the bleakness of the cold winter still meets your gaze. The trees that still stand in a state of limbo ..are they dormant or are they dead from the cold. Will life "find a way?" It is almost impossible to tell. Patience is what is required of us. Many have given in to their impatience and have hired the gardener who cuts down the beautiful tree that has not yet shown signs of life but it might have had the owners just given it more time. More time for the warm weather to do its magic. More time for the little leaves that lay beneath the branch surfaces to burst forth and flutter in the breeze. More time to stand with their dried leaves and show that there truly is no life in them...the cold did indeed kill them. I have a brother and a niece who will probably not be greeting the spring. I would have said that they were fighting for their life right now but I really don't know if they are. My niece is dying from kidney cancer. She is 59 or 60 and had one child, a son, who is not in contact with her. She is my sister's firstborn. My sister has been her daughter's main caregiver. The pain had gotten so bad that she had screamed at her mother not to touch her. Today she is laying in a bed in a hospice facility. She has had enough drugs to make her painfree and to allow her to sleep. She may never wake again but she also may never scream out in pain again. She is resting and may just give in to the slide into non-existence. It would be a lie to say that she is fighting for her life.
My brother, Manuel is dying from liver failure. He has a leak and is bleeding out into his abdominal cavity. He is at his daughter's home where he is cared for by his daughter and ex-wife. The love that he is being shown and treated with is truly heartwarming. He is in a coma-like state.
Life is strange..just when I will be welcoming spring back I will be feeling the heartache of losing a loved one I will miss these two tremendously. Life goes on and we know that it is just a matter of time before we will see them again and they will be able to enjoy the earth as it was meant to be...at peace and harmony and with loved ones. I look forward to that time. I know that my Mom and Dad will be sad to learn that their boy did not live long after their deaths. They would have been there with him. Holding his hand, stroking his forehead and telling him to be strong and that they loved him no matter what poor choices he had made in his lifetime. But he has had only his daughters, son, grandchildren and sibs to love him through this. His kids have done an awesome job of caring for him and respecting his wishes. I am sure that he feels the love that they have for him.
I have started moving. Robin and some dear friends took a load of boxes and patio furniture up yesterday. We now have the keys and two of the utilities are turned on. We also have a nice new post office box because there is no door-to-door mail service. UPS does come to our front door!!
I will wait patiently for spring to arrive and then I will clean off the dead stuff from my plants.
love and hugs to all of you who read this!